WE'RE PREGNANT!!!!!!!
Let me first just say, I'm trying to take this pregnancy a little less to heart. I know how awful that may sound. It's a fine line to be excited for this to happen so quickly again, but also terrifying based on what happened last time.
We found out on Saturday, May 4th. For a week or so before, I again had my "gut" feeling that I may be pregnant. I had constant reflux, I found myself waaaay more emotional than normal (I cried when a girl I hated on American Idol was eliminated.. um, what?) and those very vivid, extremely detailed, terrifying dreams were coming back. Yet, I didn't want to get my hopes up. I had been testing every 3 days for a positive result, and still hadn't gotten a BFP until Saturday. That morning, the faintest line appeared, but I knew that was it (see below)! I raced over to Jason and made him confirm that my eyes were really seeing the slight line. He agreed, and five minutes later I somehow squeezed more pee out of my bladder to test on another, this time the digital test that spelled it out for us: P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T (see above).
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| Seriously, the faintest line possible! |
All day Saturday, I was thrilled. Nothing could rock my world, I was pregnant again and I was extremely confident this was it! On Sunday, reality set in. I started panicking and found every excuse to think any symptom was a bad one. I spent all day in the complete opposite mood as the previous 24 hours; I went frrom complete ecstasy to complete anxiety.
Monday morning, I went to Dr. Juarez's office as soon as they opened. He had told me the last time we met, that the next time I got pregnant, I was to get bloodwork done as soon as possible. They got me in quickly and tested my levels for Progesterone and HCG. I would go back Wednesday to get the second blood draw to see if my HCG went up.
While I was in the office Monday morning, one of the nurses I've spent a lot of time talking with over the last few months finally snapped me into an epiphany. It was quick for me to realize and decide that I wasn't going to spend this pregnancy worrying about the "M" word. If it's going to happen, it's going to happen. It's not worth wasting my first trimester worrying over every twinge I experience. The best thing I could do is already being done, by monitoring my blood levels, and that's it. That's all I can do. She told me to just enjoy it.... and so I left feeling a little bit lighter and more like how I felt Saturday morning. This can happen. I will have this baby!
Tuesday my progesterone levels came back at 47.3! Both Dr. Juarez and the nurse agreed this level was great, but to continue supplementing with progesterone once a day, just in case. On Thursday, my second draw results came back. I was extremely nervous to get these numbers... but to my relief, my HCG had more than doubled within 48 hours! I went from 119 on Monday to 377 on Wednesday. We have an early ultrasound scheduled at the end of this month, so we're praying we see that yolk sac and a fetal pole!
I'm trying to be as confident as I can this time around. I do feel a little different than I did the last time, yet I'm not letting my guard down completely. We're hoping and praying that this time around goes better than the last. January 2013 was the worst, most devastating month of our lives, but we're hoping that January 2014 is going to be the absolute best month of our entire lives by welcoming our baby into this world.
Baby Kelton is due January 2014..... Here's to the next 8 months of meeting this baby!!!
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